FILM: Snow White and the Huntsman (5/10)

Why did I watch it?
I remember seeing the trailer for this dark take on the fairy tale and thinking it had some potential, especially in the special effects department.

What's it all about?
The evil Ravenna (Charlize Theron) enchants her way into the King's life after the Queen dies unexpectedly. After murdering the King on their wedding night, Ravenna locks Princess Snow White (Kristen Stewart) away in the castle dungeons for years and pillages the land to maintain her youth. After Snow White escapes Ravenna bribes a huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to track her down in the The Dark Forest.







The Good:

• Strong special effects
• Charlize Theron smashes everyone else out of the park as Ravenna
• Great cast for the seven dwarves, Ray Livingstone, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Eddie Marsan etc.

The Bad:

• The huntsman angle didn't really add too much value to the original story for me
• Kristen Stewart doesn't come out of this too well and made any tiny desire I may have ever had of watching anything Twilight related completely disappear.
• Chris Hemsworth's Scottish accent - why?
• Epic fantasy story, sweeping landscape shots, dwarves and trolls and evil villains, its all a bit Tolkien, but with none of the Peter Jackson magic. 
• The mirror thinking Stewart is better looking than Theron!

'Snow White is fairer?! Go home, you're drunk.'

Favourite line:

'If he starts whistling, I'll smash his face in' - Quert

Stand-out moment:

Charlize Theron's slo-motion evil rise from her milk bath

Like the film? Watch: The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Hobbit
Like the acting? Watch: Twilight

What my wife would say: Watched it, found it quite boring.

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 47%

Metacritic - 57/100

LAMB Score - 2.95

Twitter -

Snow White & The Hunstman has to be one I wish I fell asleep during.
— Dream Factory Doyle (@crocodoyler) December 19, 2013

FILM: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (4/10)

Why did I watch it?
Sounded like a fun mash-up.

What's it all about?
Young future president Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) witnesses his mother being killed. Years later Lincoln plots to exact revenge only to discover the killer is a vampire and learns that a legion of vampires control the South, feasting off the slave population. Schooled by Henry Sturges (Dominic Cooper), Lincoln becomes a trained vampire hunter and eventually takes his fight against the vampires to the White House.









The Good:

• Although no Daniel Day Lewis, Benjamin Walker's portrays Lincoln pretty well in my opinion.

The Bad:

• Visually the film is trying too hard. Director Timur Bekmambetov creates some horrible looking action sequences, the horse chase and train roof right in particular, and the slo-mo is overdone.
• The tone of the film is all wrong. You may think going into this that it would be a fun mash-up but the film tries to combine the vampire gore and violence with the serious true Lincoln history on an equal level with Lincoln speeches and all. And Abe Lincoln is not known for having fun. Doesn't work.
• Really really unmemorable.

What would Daniel Day-Lewis' Lincoln think?

Favourite line:

'A guy only gets that drunk when he wants to kiss a girl or kill a man. So which is it?' - Henry Sturges

Stand-out moment:

Can't even think of one. Those action set pieces that should have been were let down by the over the top special effects.

Like the direction? Watch: Wanted, Nightwatch 

What my wife would say: Rubbish.

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 35%

Metacritic - 42/100

LAMB Score - 2.65/5 

Twitter -

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is easily the worst thing to happen to President Lincoln in a theatre.
— Bob Kostic (@causticbob) December 10, 2013

FILM: Silver Linings Playbook (8/10)

Why did I watch it?
Due to the hype, nominations and awards I always meant to catch this film but it never appealed to me as much as some of the other films out at the time like Lincoln, Life of Pi etc. Anyway, the Mrs was keen to watch it (a film with Bradley Cooper and dancing!) so we did.

What's it all about?
Recently released from a mental hospital, bi-polar Pat (Bradley Cooper) moves back in with his parents and focuses everything on getting back together with his estranged wife, despite the fact she took out a restraining order against him. Back in town he meets Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), recently widowed and with her own problems, who needs a dancing partner.







The Good:

• A different take on the old romantic comedy story
• Interesting story that combines American football, mental illness and dancing.
• Great cast and absorbing performances all around, personally I thought Bradley Cooper's was slightly superior to Jennifer Lawrence's. It wasn't interesting to see Cooper use some of mannerisms from this film again in The Place Beyond the Pines.
• Features the Philadelphia Eagles, my favourite NFL team.

The Bad:

• Cooper's intense portrayal of his character can take a little getting used to at the offset.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Eagle's jersey

Favourite line:

'You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things.' - Tiffany

Stand-out moment:

Either the dancing competition (not as off-beat as the one from Little Miss Sunshine but it does have bi-polar tendencies) or Pat waking his parents in the middle of the night to rant about the Ernest Hemingway book he is reading having an unhappy ending. 

Like the film? Watch: Little Miss Sunshine

Like the director? Watch: The Fighter, upcoming American Hustle (starring Cooper and Lawrence again).

What my wife said: Disappointed, 'the only reason to watch this film is because it has Bradley Cooper in'.

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 92%

Metacritic - 81/100

LAMB Score - 4.26/5

Twitter -

I can't remember the last time I liked a movie as much as "Silver Linings Playbook." The art direction and soundtrack were ACHINGLY good.
— Rainbow Rowell (@rainbowrowell) September 12, 2013

FILM: Flight (8/10)

Why did I watch it?
Not only does Flight star everybody's favourite Denzel but it received two Oscar nominations, for original screenplay and for Denzel himself.

What's it all about?
Following his normal routine Captain 'Whip' Whitaker takes off in his passenger jet drunk and high from the previous night. However on this doomed flight a mechanical failure leads him to take unorthodox emergency action resulting in an investigation into the circumstances of the flight.

The Good:

• The terrifying flight sequence
• Denzel's intense performance - deserved the Oscar nomination (ultimately beaten by Daniel Day Lewis' Lincoln
• Gripping character drama
• Whip taking a toke of oxygen from the emergency supply before taking off!

The Bad:

• Errmm.....doesn't make you want to get on a plane for a while?

Trouble at 30,000 ft and not a snake in sight

Favourite line:

'Death demands responsibility' - Hugh Lang

Stand-out moment:

The flight sequence

Like the cast? Watch: Training Day, The Bone Collector

Like the director? Watch: Cast Away, Forrest Gump

What my wife would say: Watched it, 'glad he did the right thing in the end'.

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 78%

Metacritic - 76/100

LAMB Score - 4.06/5

Twitter -

Denzel Washington is actually incredible in Flight
— Jake Rosenberg (@theREALjrosey) November 10, 2013

FILM: Pitch Perfect (6/10)

Why did I watch it?
All due to the Mrs this one. I fell for the line 'apparently it's like Bridesmaids and nothing like Glee'.

What's it all about?
Having freshly arrived at college, Beca wants a career in music and to appease her father ends up joining The Barden Belles, an unsuccessful all-girl a capella group determined to beat their long time rivals The Trebelmakers to competition success.

The Good:

• There's no denying that Pitch Perfect is funny at times. The script does contain a few gems so there is something here for the non-singing type.
• Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) is responsible for most of the film's laughs
• The cynical and misogynistic competition commentary provided by Elizabeth Banks and John Michael Higgins
• Cameo by Christopher Mintz-Plasse

The Bad:

• Both the singing and relationship story-lines are all too predictable
• Feels like The Breakfast Club is incorporated into the main couple's relationship story for nothing other than some form of credibility and coolness factor for the pair. As if they would be watching anything other than Glee.

Shall we watch Glee after this?

Favourite line:

'I'm going to kill him, I'm going to finish him like a cheesecake!' - Fat Amy

Stand-out moment:

The a capella battle

Like the film? Watch: Bridesmaids 

Like the singing and stuff? Watch: Glee

What my wife would say: 'It's more Bridesmaids than Glee'.

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 81%

Metacritic - 66/100

LAMB Score - 3.19/5

Twitter -

Just watched Pitch Perfect and...... enjoyed it. I'm disappointed in myself.
— Jake Hardy (@JakeAlive) October 23, 2013

FILM: Les Miserables (7/10)

Why did I watch it?

The Mrs loved it and thought I needed to see it so I decided to give it a go.

What's it all about?

Les Miserables tells the story of one Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman), a paroled convict, over several decades in 19th century France. Valjean becomes guardian of factory worker Fantine's (Anne Hathaway) daughter Cosette and ends up taking part in a Parisian revolutionary uprising, all the while being hunted by Inspector Javert (Russell Crowe).

The Good:

• Intensity from live singing has to be credited .
• Grand production - nice visuals of France/Paris.
• Hugh Jackman's dedication to the role. The man gives everything.
• Appearance of Sascha Baron Cohen brings a bit of humour.
• Epic story.

The Bad:

• Seriously, how many words rhyme with Cosette?
• The shock of no dialogue whatsoever took some getting over.
• Yeah Russell Crowe's singing isn't great but at least he tried.

Jean Valjean...decent Movember entry

Favourite line:

'La la la la, ' - Everyone

Stand-out moment:

Jean Valjean and Javert facing off time and time again.

Like singing? Watch: Mamma Mia, Evita etc.

Like the director? Watch: The King's Speech

What my wife would say: I love musicals.

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 70%

Metacritic - 63/100

LAMB Score - 3.73/5

FILM: Argo (9/10)

Why did I watch it?

Argo has been high up on my list of films to see following the hype and awards it received on its release. I liked both of Ben Affleck's previous directorial efforts Gone Baby Gone and The Town.

What's it all about?

Based on a true story, Ben Affleck plays a CIA ex-filtration specialist Tony Mendez, tasked with getting a group of American embassy staff out of Iran in the months following the Iranian Hostage Crisis in 1979. Mendez turns to Hollywood, with support from film producers Alan Arkin and John Goodman, to create cover for the operation.

The Good:

• Sharp, funny script
• Affleck builds up the tension almost from the off and it rarely lets up anytime the action returns to Tehran
• The cynical Hollywood angle - Alan Arkin and John Goodman
• Bryan Cranston - just because
• Balanced introductory montage setting the scene for the Iranian Revolution and hostage crisis

The Bad:

• I got nothing, maybe the Mendez family angle which didn't add much value for me

Passport please, Mr Bat. Man

Favourite line:

'If I'm doing a fake movie, it's gonna be a fake hit!' - Lester Siegel

Stand-out moment:

The build-up to and storming of the American embassy in Tehran told from the viewpoint of the embassy officials

Like the film? Watch: Munich, The Americans (TV show)

Like the director? Watch: Gone Baby Gone, The Town

What my wife would say: Watched it and enjoyed it.

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 96%

Metacritic - 86/100

LAMB Score - 4.33/5
Twitter - 

Argo never fails to give me anxiety attacks even though I know the ending
— Maggie Genske (@maggie_genske) November 2, 2013

FILM: Dredd (7/10)

Why did I watch it?

I still have yet to see the original 1995 Stallone film Judge Dredd so I decided that I would make a point of seeing the remake.

What's it all about?

With a population of 800 million, violent metropolis Mega-City One is policed by so called Judges, with the authority to serve as judge, jury and executioner. Dredd (Karl Urban) takes his rookie partner (Olivia Thirlby) to investigate three murders in a 200-storey tower block under the control of local drug lord Ma-Ma (Lena Headey).

The Good:

• I had some concerns after reading that Karl Urban never takes his judge's helmet off during the film but this actually worked. Credit to director Pete Travis for this decision and more so to Urban for being able to portray Dredd's emotions through voice and the lower half of his face.
• Stripped down and action packed, maintains interest throughout
• Great creation of Mega-City One
• Visual effects - slow motion
• Wood Harris - good to see Avon Barksdale get a decent role
• Deranged Ma-Ma (Headey)

The Bad:

• Very, very simple plot
• Not much going on in the character department

Favourite line:

Obviously...'Ma-Ma is not the law, I am the law' - Dredd

Stand-out moment:

Ma-Ma busting out a couple of Gatling guns to destroy an entire level of the tower to flush Dredd out

Like the effects? Watch: Wanted

Like the story? Watch: Judge Dredd (1995)

What my wife would say: No thanks

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 78%

Metacritic - 59/100

LAMB Score - 3.34/5

FILM: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (7/10)

Why did I watch it?
I'm no LOTR geek by any stretch, give me a gritty L.A. cop drama any day, but I watched, enjoyed and own blu-rays of Peter Jackson's epic Middle Earth trilogy and having never read The Hobbit I was more than prepared to sit through three more epic films to see what the fuss was all about.

What's it all about?

Ok here goes....sixty years before Frodo's journey to destroy the Ring, Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) is recruited by Gandalf (Ian McKellen) to join a group of dwarves, led by kingdom-less dwarf king Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage), on their quest across to Middle Earth to Erebor the Lonely Mountain, the dwarves' former home, where Smaug the dragon resides. 

The Good:

• Familiar return to Middle Earth with re-appearances from many of the original cast
• Excellent lengthy prologue narrating a previously unknown history of the dwarves and creating the basis for film's story
• As with all Peter Jackson films, An Unexpected Journey looks fantastic
• Dwarves, elves, orcs and goblins

The Bad:

• Similarities to the LOTR story are hard to ignore - a quest of unlikely heroes getting into trouble on a journey across Middle Earth while being chased by Orcs.
• The film's protagonists, 13 dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard has much less diversity than the Fellowship and as such the character distinction for most of the group is minimal
• No doubt about it, the film is slow. The arrival and introduction of the group at Bilbo's house was a bore.
• I like Martin Freeman but after three hours his comedic fussy style and self-deprecation really began to wear me down. Still at least it wasn't three hours of Frodo and Sam.

Bearded Dwarf #1, Bilbo, Bearded Dwarf #2

Favourite line:

'These are Gundabad wargs. They will outrun you.' - Gandalf
'These are Rhosgobel rabbits, I'd like to see them try' - Radagast 

Stand-out moment:

Bilbo meeting Gollum and the Ring  

Like the film? Watch: Might be a crazy idea but maybe the original Lord Of The Rings trilogy?

Like the story? Read: Another unoriginal idea but The Hobbit by J.R. Tolkien

What my wife would say: Which one is he again? When is Orlando Bloom in it?

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 65%

Metacritic - 58/100

LAMB Score - 3.66/5

FILM: The Man With The Iron Fists (6/10)

Why did I watch it?

I'm a pretty big fan of the Wu-Tang Clan and therefore a bit of a RZA acolyte so I was pretty keen to see his directorial debut.

What's it all about?

In Feudal China rival clans plot to steal the Emperor's gold as it passes through Jungle Village. Caught in the middle of the war between the clans and the Emperor's escort is the village's blacksmith (RZA), brothel madam Madam Blossom (Lucy Liu), the blacksmith's lover Lady Silk (Jamie Chung) and mysterious stranger Jack Knife (Russell Crowe). After suffering at the hands of the Lion clan the blacksmith forges ultimate weapons of his own and joins the fight.

The Good:

• The likes of Crowe and Liu have fun with their roles, Crowe in particular as Jack Knife
• Some good choreography and wire work, I'm thinking of the Gemini twins, the Black Widows and The X-Blade fights.
• Fun mix of characters, eccentric Brit Jack Knife and the brass version of Fantastic Four's The Thing

The Bad:

• It pains me to say this but the RZA was perhaps a little too self-involved as director, main cast member and narrator. His narration and acting were both very monotone and uninspiring, particularly as the titular role.
• Heavy editing (original cut was four hours long and the final edit was 96 minutes!) results in congested character introduction throughout

Favourite line:

''I always bring my gun to a knife fight'' - Jack Knife

Stand-out moment:

Madam Blossom's orchestrated attack on the Lions by the Black Widows 

Like the film? Watch: Kill Bill, 13 Assassins

Like the soundtrack? Watch: Kill Bill, Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai

Like the director? Watch: Can't help you here, TMWTIF was RZA's directorial debut

What my wife would say: Who is the RZA?

What the world thinks:

Rotten Tomatoes - 49%

Metacritic - 51/100

LAMB Score - 2.5/5

Twitter - 'uneven', 'messy', 'fun'

FILM: Premium Rush (5/10)

Why did I watch it?
Nothing specific here really. Wasn't fussed in seeing this at the cinema or on DVD but when it was on TV I thought I would check it out. Fact - director David Koepp is the fifth most successful screenwriter of all time in terms of domestic box office receipts, according to Wikipedia.

What's it all about?

Thrillseeking New York bike messenger Wilee (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is the man at the centre of the action when he collects a delivery that a desperate and corrupt cop (Michael Shannon) is willing to chase him all across NY to get his hands on. 

Should you watch it?

Premium Rush wants to play out like a modern day Speed, cat and mouse adrenaline fuelled chase with no brakes. Literally in the case of the protagonist Wilee's fixed speed bike, which deserved it's own credit considering the number of references to it. Unfortunately, Rush combines a basic premise, strengthened by a non-linear timeline, padded out with a contrived plot about Chinese nationals with what in places is an awful script, full of cheesy clichés. Clichéd adrenaline junkies spouting lines such as 'brakes are death' or 'this is the most fun I've had with my clothes on' really didn't help me to relate to any of the main characters. Koepp breaks up the action with graphics of the riders locations, displays of timers counting down as well as pausing time to allow the riders to consider and play out the options open to them when their most obvious route is blocked. These devices are effective but can't save the film from it's weaknesses. 

Michael Shannon is one of my favourite actors but here his bug-eyed expression combines with the bad lines resulting in a really cartoon villain. Shannon chews the scenery hard to make up the material but the result is only unintended amusement for the audience. Despite this Shannon is still watchable as always.

FILM: Contraband (7/10)

Why did I watch it?

I remember deciding that I would catch this film on TV rather than at the cinema. I thought the cast looked decent enough and the modern day smuggling story appealed to me for some reason.

What's it all about?

Retired master smuggler Chris Farraday (Mark Wahlberg) is forced to make one last run to Panama and back when his brother-in-law, who unbeknown to Chris is running drug contraband himself, loses a package and becomes indebted to local mobster Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi) to the tune of $700,000.

Should you watch it?
I wasn't expecting Contraband to deliver too much and I ended up being pleasantly surprised. You can always count on Mark Wahlberg too deliver a steely, non-nonsense, man-caught-in-a-drama type performance. I'm a big fan of Ben Foster, although I think he has had better roles than this one, and with Ribisi, the two provide strong counter foils to Wahlberg, who does what he does best. Kate Beckinsdale is really just window dressing caught up in the drama.

Character development isn't top priority and the film suffers because of it but in the end for a short and punchy heist film, that gives an interesting insight into the world of international smuggling, you could do worse.

FILM: Wrath of the Titans (5/10)

Why did I watch it?

I watched Clash of the Titans and decided to see how the follow-up fared, more out of having nothing better to do than particularly enjoying the first film.

What's it all about?

Zeus (again played by Liam Neeson) and the gods call on Perseus to save mankind once more after Hades begins to return power to Kronos and the long imprisoned Titans.

Should you watch it?

Wrath, clash, smash, bash, it's all the same for Sam Worthington as he returns as Greek demigod Perseus. Wrath is very similar in style, plot and well just about everything else to Louis Leterrier's 2010 Clash of the Titans. It treads the same ground, impressive visuals, monsters, battles, the reluctant hero, nothing is new.

The film certainly doesn't score any points for it's dialogue. Somebody needs to explain to me why writers continually load scripts with cheesy lines. Point in case being Perseus looking up at the cyclops towering over him for the first time and saying to himself, 'You gotta be kidding me'. WHY, WHY, WHY, doesn't anyone from the directors to the actor themselves resist spouting garbage like this.

I struggle to comprehend why the likes of Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson and Bill Nighy, making his first appearance of the franchise, bother with this type of mediocrity.

Wrath of the Titans is not going to win any awards for originality, script or its acting. I guess that no-one watches this film with those kind of expectations, however for mindless, action blockbusters there are better options.

FILM: Ice Age: Continental Drift (5/10)

Why did I watch it?

I've watched all the films of the Ice Age franchise over the years so there wasn't any reason not to give Continental Drift a go and see what Sid, Manny and co were up to this time around.

What's it all about?

As the continents begin to break up (caused believe it or not by Scrat chasing his acorn), the film's group of regular characters are separated and Manny, Sid and Diego find themselves on a floating piece of ice where they meet Captain Gutt's motley crew of pirates.

Should you watch it?
If you have watched the previous three you might as well watch Continental Drift, though you will know exactly what to expect. Producing a third sequel is an indicator of how successful the franchise has been but also underlines how dependent studios can be to roll-out another sequel, devoid of too much development, for a guaranteed return. Anyway that's not Continental Drift's fault.

As with Dawn of the Dinosaurs there are additional characters this time around, a whole heap of them in fact. Sid's Grandma arrives, Diego has a love interest, Manny's daughter's gang, the film's villain and his posse of pirates to name a few. The producers clearly made a decision to make Continental Drift more teeny than the previous films, perhaps to match the age of the audience that has grown up with the franchise and the casting of the likes of Nicki Minaj, Drake and Jennifer Lopez underlines this, while the writing for Minaj's and Drake's characters does not so much underline it as write in capital letters, LOOK AT US COOL WRITERS, THIS IS WHAT TEENAGERS SOUND LIKE. Anyway, it's a kids film, who can get mad.

Thankfully the troublesome teens are kept on the side of the plot which serves just to occupy the half of the cast which aren't cut adrift and captured by Captain Gutt, brilliantly voiced by Peter Dinklage (Tyrion from GoT). Nick Frost voices Flynn, an effeminate seal in Gutt's employ, and his lines were the stand-out moments for me. Scrat's acorn hunt is still going and is always an enjoyable distraction from the central storyline.


As ever the film looks great, kids will enjoy the action and fun but for the rest of us the franchise feels tired, in the sense of characters and plots. However, with Continental Drift making over $800M it may be that Sid and co. are not on the verge of extinction just yet.